Adventures in internet dating.

(Profile)

I am independent, classy, and ambitious, but harbor a sensitive, nurturing side. I am definitely someone you can take home to mom, very capable of being a true lady. I have no tattoos, dress with an air of sophistication, mind all manners (…that I know of), and win people over with my dazzling smile, charming personality, and semi-impressive vocabulary. My friends and family are very important in my life, and my match must be able to join our wacky group and convince them all that he is Prince Charming (or a very very close second; I understand "perfect" does not exist and I would most likely get bored of "perfect" quickly anyway, so no worries!).

My match is a tall (I am six-foot and like to wear heels, so TALL-tall not average-tall), successful, witty, dreamboat. Preferably handsome with no tattoos my father can see, an appreciation for sports AND the arts, a quirky sense of humor, and enough muscles to pick me up should the need arise. A guy that can bring his A-game to a Wii tournament, game of Risk, and air hockey challenge. I'm looking for a genuinely nice guy that isn't afraid to be straight forward, honest, caring. A gentleman with that twinkle in his eye that matches mine and shows he has a wild side. I thrive on a sense of adventure, and find sarcasm and wit to be endlessly entertaining. A great mind makes the lines in theme parks part of the highlight of the day, and I aspire to be a Disney season pass holder. My match is a social and active being. Fellas, I can appreciate a technologically gifted guy, but don't want someone that prefers the company of electronics over people. I am affectionate and crave attention in generous portions, so my match can't be afraid of a little PDA…I'm not talking make 'em-gag glued to one another, but casually holding hands, walking with your hand on the small of my back, or throwing me a quick wink from across the room can make me all giddy. Heck, just taking a few seconds out of your busy day to send me a quick text or email is a dream come true! I'm easy going, easy to please, and uptight people make me edgy. Long story short, I'm looking for someone I can trust unconditionally, love passionately, and respect entirely.

What I never want to hear again. Ever.

Be forewarned, this is a rant.

What I NEVER want to hear again is a boy telling me what an amazing woman I am, and how I'm going to make the right guy very happy one day (duh!)....when what he is REALLY trying to say is, "Stace, I'm just not that into you." If any boys happen to read this, PLEASE learn that phrase! "I'm just not that into you!" Short, quick, way better than the drawn out nonsense that usually comes with ending a possibly serious relationship.
Now, it may very well be that I'm not a normal girl. In fact, I happen to know that I am an exceptional girl! So, maybe a "normal" girl would WANT to hear all about how considerate, funny, ambitious, attractive, blah blah blah she is. How there's a man out there that is right for her and she'll find him someday and live happily ever after. A "normal" girl might even NEED to hear that from a boy. But, not I my friends! Not I! I can appreciate that the guy was making an attempt to soften the blow, so to speak, but I personally find it insulting. How about a little constructive criticism?! Put some REAL effort into it fellas, instead of that same drawn out line of bull that you KNOW is bull because it always feels like deja vu. Know that I do not suffer from low self-esteem, and my world is certainly not going to end because you don't want to be a significant part of it. What I would prefer is brutal, bare knuckles, honesty. There will be a REASON why you're deciding I'm not the one...share "friend"! (LOL They always go for that, don't they?!) It could help me make a better decision next time! Telling me why we don't work according to you does not mean I'm not great. Because I am. : ) (See! No low self-esteem here! LOL)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm honestly looking for someone to build a real relationship and LIFE with. The white dress, kids, the works! I'm not the kind of girl that needs a relationship to be happy by any means. So, if I'm in a relationship with you it's because I saw potential. I'm not the kind of girl to waste my time or yours. The worst part of the whole thing is, I HATE being wrong! Absolutely hate it. So, any ending relationship is a disappointment because I see it as failure. Throw me a freakin' bone and SPARE ME the "you're great but..." diatribe. I'll be happier, and you'll get out that uncomfotable conversation faster...it's a win, win!
I deserve more. Seriously. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me!! LOL
This rant was brought to you thanks to the inspiration of the last lucky gentleman to have me. You will be happy to know, friends, that in only a short couple of weeks he has managed to pull his act together, "find himself", and completely get over his ex-fiancee. He has managed to find love in a stipper (yup, you read that right!), whom-I assume-he is whisking away to Tulare in all of it's glory. Her job allows that kind of flexibility...okay, that was mean, but I'm bitter! LOL He was a busy boy! You said he was full of it, I felt sorry for the guy (I mean, look what he lost right?!), but it turns out you were right. Silly Stacey in her good nature accepted the "you're a great woman but..." speech for the last time! Just wanted to throw that out there as a heads up to any potential future relationships...don't FUSS with me! LOL Just tired of the game is all.

Stacey Unplugged

I am just a girl. Shocking, right?! LOL But, profound if you know me. Not at all a surprise if you know me well. The following is a true confession of sorts; a glimpse behind the façade that I am a strong and independent woman. Not that I am "fake," mind you. Life's trials have revealed a definite inner strength, and my accomplishments to date are evidence that I am, indeed, self-sufficient. The façade that I am referring to is the array of barricades and walls I've built to protect a delicate heart. The heart of a dreamer, and a believer in fairy tales.

The Ugly Duckling

Always one of my favorite bedtime stories. I grew up different. I was usually a head taller than everyone else in my classes since kindergarten. By sixth and seventh grade, imagine this scenario in addition to being overweight with bad skin and frizzy hair. (It was the 80's! Perms were all the rage.) Still, I could have pulled it off if I hadn't been terminally shy. I mean, I wouldn't tell the guy at Burger King what I wanted SHY. This left me prey to one of life's lowest forms…the bully. The kids that faired a little better in the genetic lottery and felt this gave them the right to cast judgment. Loudly and repeatedly. I never did fight back, and worse- in junior high I started to think they had a point. I stuck to what I did well which was academics. Which, of course, did NOTHING to ease my reputation as being a total nerd.

My dream at this point in my life was to just BLEND IN. Try doing THAT when you're six feet tall at 13 years old. And so it went, all the way through high school.

I Went to my Senior Prom! Stag.

Ah, senior year! The year I reinvented myself…kinda. Thanks to morning jogs and accutane I gained a little bit of self-confidence. A boy actually started to *gasp* talk to me in a flattering way, and I found that the love story I had dared to dream since I was a little girl just might come true. This was my chance! Right? I mean, there was no one waiting in the wings…and why would there be?...this was it! And I'd better make it work. Sure he was a couple of inches shorter than me and from a completely different background, but I had GOALS in life! Married by 24, starting a family by 26- this HAD to be it! The over-achiever/goal-getter was running out of time! So, I ignored the fact the he drove me completely crazy and we had very little in common. The fact that he had the most annoying way of clearing his throat habitually and completely relied on me to run his life as well as my own while he conquered fantasy worlds online. Which, leads me to where I am today. I'm 28 years old and two years out of an eight year relationship that ended in an un-marriage (HATE the word divorce). Here's where the proof of inner strength comes in- I left him. I was unhappy and he was unwilling to change…and I left him. The hardest part about that decision was being seen as a failure. I never failed at ANYthing, it was uncharted territory for me. But, by 26 I was finally getting a sense of who I really am and what I really want in life. And, friends, I'm so proud of myself that after all of those years of taking what was thrown at me I stood up for myself and what I wanted! And the sense of accomplishment and progress far outweighs the feelings of failure. Now, during these past two years I have managed to have bad relationships, and worse. But, a beautiful thing happened at the same time…one very special boy made me believe that I am a swan. Made me believe that my life can be a fairy tale.

He Created a Monster…an Adorable, Fuzzy, Huggable One J

There are three men that have been unquestionably reliable in my life. Three men that I truly trust; my father, my brother (although, on second thought, he is questionable at times! LOL), and more recently my good friend Barry. That one very special boy I was talking about whom I respect entirely. He is the epitome of confidence and class, and I am thankful everyday that I get to call him my friend. Somehow, just by being his fabulous self I guess, he has opened my eyes to a brand new way of looking at the world and introduced me to a whole new level of confidence. This has, in turn, added a few more layers of sass to my already somewhat audacious demeanor. My close friends and family had been telling me that I was something special for years (and I love you guys for that!)…but, Barry made me believe it. And, probably more importantly, made me believe it was OKAY for me to believe it…because, who's going to argue with the truth?! Right?!

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly, and the Happily Ever After

Yup, seems like I've dated them all! LOL All in that search for that one special someone. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, in the past I have offered my heart, the best of me, very openly. I keep that on reserve now. (Well, it's a goal at least!) The vibrant, lively, seemingly conceited Stacey has taken the lead. The Stacey that is witty and sociable. The one that is finally proud to be different, and has adopted the theory that if you're going to stand out, you might as well stand out in style! The Golden Guardian Angel of America reigns supreme! ; ) The strong Stacey that is the protector of a tender soul. A tender soul that needs the fairy tale to be truly happy.

The fairly tale is seemingly so simple. What I want is for someone to recognize all that I truly am and realize that they cannot live without it. Someone that deserves the best of me. Now, never fear friends, confident/protector Stacey is also a judger. She's been through the good, the bad, and the ugly and has quite an extensive list of qualifications that must be met in order for her inner-princess to make an appearance. LOL What I want more than anything is a protector and a provider. A true prince. A man that will battle to be with me, offer me security, and when we're finally united in oneanother's arms the rest of the world will fade away...If you're that one special someone and you're reading this, storm the castle walls my love and rescue me from this exhausting role of self-reliance and fortitude…I promise I'll rescue you right back. I will be your equal, and show you a love that will go unrivaled through the ages. Everybody else, I'm sorry if that made you throw up in your mouth a little! LOL

All I want is my happily ever after.

So there it is, Stacey unplugged. Just a girl. A girl with a big heart behind her big mouth. An extraordinary girl that believes life can be a dream.

******

There are so many songs out there that offer hope to romantics like me...must be why I love music so much! So many sweet sentiments and happy endings...

Puttin on that smile again
Even though I know you've had a bad day
Doin this doin that
Always puttin yourself last
A whole lotta give and not enuff take
But you can only be strong so long before you break
So..

Fall
Go on and fall apart
Fall into these arms of mine
I'll catch you everytime you
Fall
Go on and lose it all
Every doubt every fear
Every worry every tear
I'm right here
Baby fall

Forget about the world tonight
All thats wrong and all thats right
Lay your head on my shoulder let it fade away
And if you wanna let go it's okay

Fall
Go on and fall apart
Fall into these arms of mine
I'll catch you everytime you
Fall
Go on and lose it all
Every doubt every fear
Every worry every tear
I'm right here
Baby fall

Hold on
Hold on
Hold on
To me

Fall
Go on and fall apart
Fall into these arms of mine
I'll catch you everytime you
Fall
Go on and lose it all
Every doubt every fear
Every worry every tear
I'm right here
Baby fall

~Clay Walker, Fall

******

When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
If I get drunk yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked a 1000 miles
To fall down at your door

When I'm working yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
And when the money comes in for the work I'll do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
When I come home oh I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow old well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked a 1000 miles
To fall down at your door

da da da

da da da

da da da dum da da dum da da dum da da
da da da

da da da

da da da dum da da dum da da dum da da

When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man whose lonely without you
When I'm dreaming well I know I'm gonna dream
Dream about the time when I'm with you

When I go out well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
And when I come home yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
I'm gonna be the man who's coming home with you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked a 1000 miles
To fall down at your door

da da da

da da da

da da da dum da da dum da da dum da da
da da da

da da da

da da da dum da da dum da da dum da da
da da da

da da da

da da da dum da da dum da da dum da da
da da da

da da da

da da da dum da da dum da da dum da da

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked a 1000 miles
To fall down at your door

~The Proclaimers, 500 Miles

Because I can't end on a serious note! LOL Keep on dreaming friends!

I can be patient for a maximum of one and one-quarter hours.

Having summers off finally frees up my time during "normal business hours" and gives me the opportunity to leisurely catch up on appointments that don't require immediate attention. Like the optometrist. I knew that it had been "a couple of years" (turns out, it was five lol) since my last check-up, and I can't seem to locate my prescribed reading glasses. The 3's and 8's in my teacher edition are starting to look awfully similar, and it's near impossible to read the scoreboard at a ball game, so I decided it was time to see Dr. Nielson again.
My appointment was at 2:00 and I was there shortly before. I signed in, filled in a stack of their silly paperwork that seems to ask the same questions over and over again, and had the nice receptionist lady make a copy of my insurance card. Then, I sat down to wait. And I waited, and I waited some more. All of the patients in purgatory with me were sent back, and I watched them leave the office one by one. New patients arrived, and were sent back, but there I sat. Until 3:15. After an hour and fifteen minutes I couldn't sit there like a lady anymore. I approached the receptionist with my best stewardess smile and asked where I stood in the line up. She seemed flustered for a couple seconds...I was apparently lost. But then, under the sheet of phone numbers right in front of her, was my chart. I sat there for nothing. She was very apologetic, but I was really irritated. I, in my good nature, didn't express my irriatation. I just smiled and said, "It happens to the best of us" and tried some deep breathing techniques that, surprisingly, worked. There was really no point in being in a bad mood about it. It all worked out in the end though. Andrew helped me pick a pair of really cute reading/driving glasses and I should be able to pick them up in 10 working days. So, I have that to look forward to.

Party like a Rockstar.

Totally dude.
Well friends, I'm sure that you will all be surprised to know that I managed to cause some trouble when I went out Friday night. Unintentionally, of course. In fact, I have no IDEA why my name was the last thing said before that guy got knocked the f*% out and my girls and I were, as a result, detained by Kern County's finest. Here's the story...as I remember it, anyway. LOL

The Rillo Trio (my girls from Camarillo; Steph, Jennifer, and Elyse) and I had been planning this reunion for at least a month. The last time we were all together was in Vegas in April...we were due. We never INTEND to cause trouble, but our good looks and charm inevitably lead to some kind of drama. (That's right girls!! I'm not taking the fall for this one on my own! LOL) We had discussed the possibility of an old-fashioned slumber party plus booze, but we were all feeling particularly social and it IS fun to go out where people don't know you...as a hostess, how could I deny my friends this opportunity? So, Rockstar here we come. I wanted to stay away from downtown, and this place is new and I'd heard good things, plue it's within 2 miles of my house. We pull up, get VIP parking right in front of the bar, and as we start to get out of the car, I thought it would be even MORE fun if we were celebrating a bachelorette party. We took a vote, and it was 3 to 1 for Jenny. (Jenny really IS a bachelorette and we WERE partying, it's not that much of a stretch! Don't judge. LOL) We get in, kinda get our bearings in this new place. It was really crowded. Elyse finally gets up to the bar to order our first round for the evening and , as it goes, we had to crowd around this guy who started chatting it up with us. We announced that we were here for Jenn's bachelorette party, and the girls were from out of town, and this guy and his buddy immediately had three words of advice for her, "don't fucking do it." Which is actually four words...but, who's counting. They were funny, and we were having a good time chatting it up. Guy 1 bought all of our drinks for the remainder of the evening. We made some other friends, of course, but I'm pretty sure at last call we had decided to go to Denny's with Guy 1 and his buddy. Time for the bar to close, and we're all herded outside where we see that our car is being blocked in by a patrol vehicle that was there in response to a couple of fights at Randolph's across the parking lot. Gang unit. We're not about to start demanding the cops move their car, so we wait. Jenny spies a hot dog cart and decides to head over. I follow shortly after and we bond with a couple of Mexican girls over hot dogs. Their boysfriends were there, too. One of the girls invites us to her apartment for an after party, but we politely decline and say we're going home with our friends (Steph and Elyse). Everything was cool. Until.....Guy 1 apparently came over to round up Jenn and I for Denny's and heard their invite. We were already walking away when he announces to this group that "Sorry guys, Stacey is coming with me." Or something to that effect. Immediately after that, we hear a loud THUD. The thud was Guy 1's head hitting the ground. One of the Mexican guys punched him and he was out before he hit the ground. They put a cigarette out on his face and got a couple of kicks in before five or six officers came over and tackled the Mexican guy. We heard later that he was just off propation, and this was his third strike so he would be going to jail for a looong time. Ambulance and fire truck show up...this whole time I'm cool as a cucumber and sit down on the curb to eat my delicious 2 am hot dog. Talking out loud to no one in particular that someone should find this "Stacey" girl, she sounds like a real trouble maker. LOL They questioned Elyse and Jennifer and took their information. Steph was crying hysterically like that was her twin brother that had just been murdered (Guy 1 was fine, just pissed and swearing revenge). I was apparently very obviously hammered so they didn't bother talking to me. Eventually, they gave Jenn a sobriety test, moved their patrol car, and let us go home. It was quite a night to remember though.

RE: Stalker

So, I was discussing with B last week the need to spice up my life a little. Now, now...I know what you're thinking. You're THINKING that I live glamorously teaching school by day and living a hot, sexy singles life after 3:15 pm and on weekends. HA! Hardly. I teach school by day, true. But, after 3:15 pm I'm usually still at school working away tutoring or going to some stupid meeting or planning or running copies...anyway, the list could go on. When I DO get home I change into PJs (hot and sexy enough for ya? LOL) and curl up with one of my textbooks from the master's classes I'm taking or get on the computer and do research or work on one of the many papers I have due soon. And that's it. It's all very boring...well, not boring but monotonous for sursies. (Although, I do break the cycle with an occasional movie night and I DID have a blast at the super spooky Universal horror whatever night with the Rillo crew...and there's always "church" on Sundays with the girls, but I digress.) My conclusion to this whine fest was that I need stalker. You see, at school we have a running telenovela, if you will. My story line right now sucks ass for all of the reasons listed above, SOOooo I thought that a little harmless stalking would definitely spice up my story line and remind me that I AM, in fact, worthy of a little bit of adoration. I'm not really sure how one goes about ACQUIRING a stalker...so, I was gonna throw it out there to myspace land.

What makes someone "stalker worthy??"

Recent scientific study...

...shows that ants will go to GREAT lengths for Golden Crisp cereal. After attacking my box of Captain Crunch that I left down on the counter yesterday, I made sure to keep the Golden Crisp (sugar binge, don't judge me) on the very top shelf of my cabinet. On my way home from CSUB (yup, I'm 20 all over again, but not as good looking or hip...eek) I was mourning the loss of my precious Captain Crunch, but anxiously awaiting a go at the Golden Crisp. I got home, turned on the kitchen light, and THOSE LITTLE M-Fers were scurrying aaaaalll the way up to the top of the cabinet and they were all up in my Golden Crisp! Grr! Funniest part...they were crawling OVER the frosted mini-wheats to get to the Golden Crisp. LOL
Nothing is sacred my friends, nothing is sacred.